But I can’t see Lord

I judge so often and I need to remind myself that I am blind. I cannot see the heart, mind, and soul of anyone. I cannot see what is truly medically or psychologically happening with anyone. How can I truly have mercy on what I cannot see, except with God’s grace. Left forgetting about God’s grace, I judge. I’m sorry, I’m working on it. At those moments when I remember this critical detail, I try to remind myself to go directly to God asking, “Lord, help me to have mercy on what I cannot see nor understand.” Can you believe that I actually do this sitting in church of all places. Judging internally. I wouldn’t want anyone judging me like that, why do I do this? Original sin. Lord, heal me please.

Am I truly ready to receive Jesus without going through this exercise? We say the words. “Lord, I am not worthy to enter under your roof, but only say the words that I may be healed.” Do I mean it? (This comes from the Gospel of Matthew 8). I am prepared or more worried about others? For each of us, I wonder, is this the path to holiness and peace? Humility and repentance. Who am I to judge? Beyond that, do I have the courage of someone in recovery from addiction who lives every moment asking God to remove what only He can remove and keep us from our own human behavior? God, please, on my knees, remove what you know I need gone next, I allow it this time. Somethings He knows we will cling to for now.

How can I best prepare for true worship of God and understand more distinctly “Living Mercy”? Contemplate, repent. Contemplate, thank. Contemplate, request. Contemplate, respond. Fall down, get back up.

Lord, I do want to see, but my ego and little soul can only handle a glimmer more. Just a little please Lord.